什么是爱？ 你能回答这个问题的那一刻，按定义就不是爱。 你可以说出自己为何爱着某人，比如笑容之类。这些细节，只有在你已经爱上对方时，才显现为爱的理由；在旁人眼里，它们只是寻常特征。 真正激进的爱，只朝向一个人。多边恋（Polyamory）不是真爱。说「因为你满足了我的需要」，并不准确。那只是迫切的不可能。我不能没有你……这便通向独一性。 真爱不是理想化。你预料到对方所有细小的不完美，并因此更爱这个人。 The moment you can answer it is by definition not love you can say why you're in love, like smile and so on, these details appear as cause of love only when you are in love. To others, they are ordinary features. True radical love is for one person. Polyamory is not true love. It wouldn't be right to say because you satisfy my needs. It's simply an urgent impossibility. I cannot be without you...leads to singularity. True love is not idealization. You expect all the small imperfections and you love the person even more because of this.
When our friends are struggling, our instinct is to rescue them, to pull them out of the mud, to fix. Even it is well-intentioned, it is a horrible feeling. Don't do that, you're making it worse. It is not the desire to fix or pull the friend out of the mud who you really want to see out of the mud, but it's your willingness to sit in the mud with them, to get in the mud and turn to them and say, "this sucks". It's not fun being in the mud with them. You don't want to get in the mud with them, but you choose to get in the mud with them until they are ready to say can we get out now. We think we have friends, yet we still struggle and feel lonely. If you have good friendship, you will not feel lonely. You may have the moment of loneliness and in those periods, you will pick up the phone and say to your friend, "I need you, I'm lonely." You friends will be there and you will not feel alone. Someone will get in the mud with you. The problem is that we don't give intention to friendship. "cause they will understand, they're our friends" so why aren't we prioritizing our friendship? Why don't we treat our friends with the same intentionality. One of the thing that will did for a friend. All you need in your life who says, you got this, I believe in you. and you will find courage and energy to do things you would not have had before. But more importantly, that person needs to also say and if everything goes wrong, I will be there for you, with you, be in the mud with u, and has the ability to say something's wrong, I'm worried about u. 朋友陷入困境时，我们的本能是去救他，把他从泥里拉出来，把他修好。即便出于好意，这种感觉也很糟。别这么做，你只会让事情更糟。 真正重要的，不是想修补朋友、想把他从泥里拉出来的那份渴望，哪怕你真心希望他脱身；而是你愿意陪他坐在泥里，走进去，转向他，说一句：「这糟透了。」陪人待在泥里，并不好受。你并不想跟着踏进泥里，却仍选择走进去，陪到他们愿意开口：「我们现在能出去了吗？」 我们以为自己有朋友，却依旧挣扎，依旧感到孤独。若友谊足够好，你不会孤独。你也会有孤独的时刻；到了那时，你会拿起电话，对朋友说：「我需要你，我很孤独。」朋友会来到你身边，你便不再孤单。有人会走进泥里，陪你。问题在于，我们不肯为友谊用心。「他们会理解的，他们是我们的朋友。」可我们为何不把友谊排在更前？如果我们有会议，为什么不对会议说：我还有事，不能参加了？为什么不用同样的用心，对待朋友？这正是我们会为朋友做的事之一。 你一生所需的，是一个对你说「你行的，我相信你」的人。于是你会生出勇气和力气，去做从前做不到的事。更重要的是，这个人也要说：就算一切出错，我也会在，陪着你，和你一起待在泥里；还要能开口说：有些不对劲，我担心你。
Man’s main task in life is to give birth to himself, to become what he potentially is. The most important product of his effort is his own personality. 人一生的主要任务，是诞生自己，成为潜能中那个自己。他努力最重要的产物，不是别的，正是自身的人格。
You need to become consistent before expecting to become good at anything. 先让坚持成为常态，才可能在任何领域练出真本事。
夫妇之间，亲子之间，情太深了，怕的不是死，而是永不再聚的失散，以至于真希望有来世或者天国。佛教说诸法因缘生，教导我们看破无常，不要执著。可是，千世万世只能成就一次的佳缘，不管是遇合的，还是修来的，叫人怎么看得破。
执着于认识自我，这本身就是一种病态。疗愈并非来自彻底的自我认知，而是当你不再把自己当作中心。当你真正领悟到，你必须为超越自我的事物而奋斗——为家人而战，为爱而战，为艺术而战，为意义而战——你才得以治愈。也许你为政治变革而战，又或许你是一个狂热的作家或科学家。精神分析的真正目标充满悖论：它恰恰是要将你从自身中解放出来，带你抵达那个你终于能忘却自我、为更崇高的事业而奉献的境地。
最后一个问题。罗素勋爵，假定这段录像将被我们的后人看到，如同死海古卷一般，在一千年后被人看见，你觉得有什么该对他们那一代人说的？有关您的一生？以及一生的感悟？ 我想要说两点，其一关乎智慧，其二关乎道德。有关智慧我想对他们说的是：不管你是在研究什么事物，还是在思考任何观点。只问你自己，事实是什么，以及这些事实所证实的真理是什么。永远不要让自己被自己所更愿意相信的，或者认为认为人们相信了，会对社会更加有益的东西所影响。只是单单的去审视，什么才是事实。这是我想说的关乎智慧的一点。我想对他们说的有关道德的一点，十分简单，我要说：爱是明智的，恨是愚蠢的。在这个日益紧密相连的世界，我们必须学会容忍彼此。我们必须学会接受这样一个事实：总会有人说出我们不想听的话，只有这样我们才有可能共同生存。而假如我们想要共存，而非共亡，我们就必须学会这种宽容和忍让。因为它们对于人类在这个星球上的存续，是至关重要的。”
如果有一天，你不再寻求爱情，只是去爱； 你不再渴望成功，只是去做； 你不再追求空泛的成长，只是修养自己的性情； 那么，你人生的一切，才真正开始。
Writing is a socially acceptable of schizophrenia.
Start writing, no matter what. The water does not flow until the faucet is turned on.
And by the way, everything in life is writeable about if you have the outgoing guts to do it and the imagination to improvise. The worst enemy to creativity is self doubt.
If you don't have time to read, you don't have time (or the tools) to write. Simple as that.
There is nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and bleed.
I write entirely to find out what I'm thinking what I'm looking at, what I see and what it means.
创意的人，在我看来，其独特之处在于他们能够与焦虑共处。尽管这种能力往往需要付出高昂的代价，比如不安全感、敏锐的感知力，以及因“神圣的疯狂”（借用古希腊人的说法）而带来的脆弱无防。他们并不逃避虚无，而是选择直面它，与之抗争，将其转化为存在。他们在沉寂中叩问，寻求回应的乐章；他们追逐无意义，直到赋予它意义。
过于忙碌会带来这样的后果：一个人极少有机会真正塑造自己的内心；而那些思想家、诗人或宗教人物，若已真正塑造了内心，则绝不会受人欢迎。这并非因为他们难以相处，而是因为那需要静默长久的自我修炼、深刻的自我认知，以及某种程度的孤独。
Knowing your own darkness is the best method for dealing with the darkness of other people.
Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.
Until you make the unconscious conscious it will direct your life and you will call it fate.
Loneliness does not come from having no people around you, but from being unable to communicate the things that seem important to you.
The privilege of a lifetime is to become who you truly are.
Psychoanalysts don't develop (causal) theories, they develop stories that seek to make senses of what people say and do.
Pinned
A failure is not always a mistake, it may simply be the best one can do under the circumstances. The real mistake is to stop trying.
In conceptual art the idea or concept is the most important aspect of the work. When an artist uses a conceptual form of art, it means that all of the planning and decisions are made beforehand and the execution is a perfunctory affair. The idea becomes a machine that makes the art. 在观念艺术中，理念或概念才是作品最重要的部分。艺术家采用观念形式创作，意味着所有筹划与决断都在动手之前完成，执行不过是走过场。理念由此化身为一台机器，源源不断地生产出艺术。
Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else's opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation. 大多数人并非真正的自己。他们的思想不过是拾人牙慧，生活不过是模仿，激情也不过是引经据典。
写作是与读者建立的一种关系。作者和读者双方都在为这段关系投入心力。 一个用AI生成内容并发表的作者，实际上是在背叛这种关系。他们并未真正投入其中，只想享受关系带来的好处，却不愿真正参与其中。当双方都愿意投入真心时，关系才能健康发展。
When you hit a wrong note, it’s the next note that you play that determines if it’s good or bad. 弹错一个音，不要紧。接下来弹出的那个音，才决定它是好是坏。
No need to hurry. No need to sparkle. No need to be anybody but oneself. 不用着急。无需闪闪发光。除了自己，不需要成为任何人。
Write about small, self-contained incidents that are still vivid in your memory. If you remember them, it's because they contain a larger truth that your reader will recognize in their own lives. Think small and you'll wind up finding the big. 写一写那些自成一体、仍在你记忆中栩栩如生的小事。你若记得住它们，是因为它们载着更大的真实，读者会在自己的生活中认出它。从小处着眼，反而能撞见大。
Love isn't something natural. Rather it requires discipline, concentration, patience, faith, and the overcoming of narcissism. It isn't a feeling, it is a practice. 爱并非天生。它需要自律，需要专注，需要耐心，需要信念，还需要克服自恋。爱不是一种感觉，而是一种实践。
We're born alone, we live alone, we die alone. Only through our love and friendship can we create the illusion for the moment that we're not alone. 我们独自来到世间，独自活着，独自离去。唯有爱与友谊，能在片刻之间，营造出一种错觉：自己并不孤单。
Too much consistency is as bad for the mind as it is for the body. Consistency is contrary to nature, contrary to life. The only completely consistent people are dead. 过分一致，对心智之害，不亚于对身体之害。一致违背自然，也违背生命。彻底一致的人，只有死者。
Life is a tragedy when seen in close-up, but a comedy in long-shot. 凑近看，人生是一出悲剧，退远些，就成了喜剧。
At the end of your life, looking back, whatever compelled your attention from moment is simply what your life will have been. 走到生命尽头，回首望去，那些曾一刻接一刻攫住你心神的东西，不过是你此生的全部。
三纲五常： 君为臣纲，君不正，臣投他国。 国为民纲，国不正，民起攻之。 父为子纲，父不慈，子奔他乡。 子为父望，子不正，大义灭亲。 夫为妻纲，夫不正，妻可改嫁。 妻为夫助，妻不贤，夫则休之。 儒家原本的目的就是把人当人看，而不是奴隶看
在附近的艺术馆的墙上看到的