When our friends are struggling, our instinct is to rescue them, to pull them out of the mud, to fix. Even it is well-intentioned, it is a horrible feeling. Don't do that, you're making it worse. It is not the desire to fix or pull the friend out of the mud who you really want to see out of the mud, but it's your willingness to sit in the mud with them, to get in the mud and turn to them and say, "this sucks". It's not fun being in the mud with them. You don't want to get in the mud with them, but you choose to get in the mud with them until they are ready to say can we get out now. We think we have friends, yet we still struggle and feel lonely. If you have good friendship, you will not feel lonely. You may have the moment of loneliness and in those periods, you will pick up the phone and say to your friend, "I need you, I'm lonely." You friends will be there and you will not feel alone. Someone will get in the mud with you. The problem is that we don't give intention to friendship. "cause they will understand, they're our friends" so why aren't we prioritizing our friendship? Why don't we treat our friends with the same intentionality. One of the thing that will did for a friend. All you need in your life who says, you got this, I believe in you. and you will find courage and energy to do things you would not have had before. But more importantly, that person needs to also say and if everything goes wrong, I will be there for you, with you, be in the mud with u, and has the ability to say something's wrong, I'm worried about u. 朋友陷入困境时，我们的本能是去救他，把他从泥里拉出来，把他修好。即便出于好意，这种感觉也很糟。别这么做，你只会让事情更糟。 真正重要的，不是想修补朋友、想把他从泥里拉出来的那份渴望，哪怕你真心希望他脱身；而是你愿意陪他坐在泥里，走进去，转向他，说一句：「这糟透了。」陪人待在泥里，并不好受。你并不想跟着踏进泥里，却仍选择走进去，陪到他们愿意开口：「我们现在能出去了吗？」 我们以为自己有朋友，却依旧挣扎，依旧感到孤独。若友谊足够好，你不会孤独。你也会有孤独的时刻；到了那时，你会拿起电话，对朋友说：「我需要你，我很孤独。」朋友会来到你身边，你便不再孤单。有人会走进泥里，陪你。问题在于，我们不肯为友谊用心。「他们会理解的，他们是我们的朋友。」可我们为何不把友谊排在更前？如果我们有会议，为什么不对会议说：我还有事，不能参加了？为什么不用同样的用心，对待朋友？这正是我们会为朋友做的事之一。 你一生所需的，是一个对你说「你行的，我相信你」的人。于是你会生出勇气和力气，去做从前做不到的事。更重要的是，这个人也要说：就算一切出错，我也会在，陪着你，和你一起待在泥里；还要能开口说：有些不对劲，我担心你。